5 Minutes
How much time am I willing to dedicate to honoring this body?
It takes me less than 5 minutes to lotion my entire body. I timed it.
The feeling is pleasant. Cool lotion slowly spreading across skin recently towel dried, the moisture absorbing and waking up areas which previously felt dull and dehydrated.
My body is warmed from the friction of my hands coming into contact with parts of me I often ignore.
Having learned the idea that my value depends on my output, on the work I do, it's easy for me to skip this enjoyable, intimate and sensual experience. I simply don't have time, after all.
And, why should I bother to take the time, when it's something that serves only me? My skin being dry doesn't impact my family, friends or my work life - so why prioritize it?
Today, after setting a timer to see just how many minutes I'm preserving in the interest of work and busyness, I learned it takes me less than 5 minutes to complete this task without rushing. Fully aware of the sensations as my hands glide over each part of my body.
The act gave me the opportunity to offer my body appreciation and even adoration in some areas. I met again my stomach that's softer than ever before, a stomach that once housed a whole being as I grew her and nourished her with everything I had. Time was spent visiting my legs, and gratitude was offered for the ways they've helped me move through my life and stand tall in my humanity. Bending and stretching the lotion reached my back and arms, and I felt the love I have for a back that's been bowed in grief and humility countless times.
This body, this is what I exist in this world within. Why do I not care for it more? Why does the notion of self-care feel like it's something I get to do after I serve the world? Why can I not take the time to massage or rest my back unless it's been bent over backwards for someone else first?
How much time am I willing to dedicate to honoring this body?
As I write this I can see how connected this question is to other questions - how much time am I willing to dedicate to honoring this life? How much time am I willing to dedicate to living this life fully? How many moments do I deserve to feel fully?
The answer arising within me now is: every second I'm awake. If I am conscious, I want to feel it all. I want to take every moment I have to express and lean into care.
We are heading into times that feel scary. I am determined to not allow the fear and the hatred to convince me I cannot rest. I am determined to take the time to rest, to lotion my body, to dance, to sing, to stare at trees with admiration.
I refuse to allow my life to be taken from me by greed, hatred and division. If existence is resistance, may the universe, God, my ancestors and any other energy flowing through me remind me to fully feel that existence every chance I get.
“What a blessing to have a body”
I feel this so much. Thank you for this! A beautiful reminder to just be with oneself. We deserve it.